Life in a Bind – BPD and me

My therapy journey, recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I write for , for Planet Mindful magazine, and for Muse Magazine Australia, under the name Clara Bridges. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by

Christmas present selfie


One of my Christmas presents – I am hoping that keeping it by my bed will magically help me to remember more of my dreams! And that it will inspire me to write mediocre poetry. Each double page contains a quote, and the one below struck a particular chord. It reminds me of the reason behind some of my fears of ‘recovery’.

It occurs to me that my finger and thumb holding the journal, and the shadow of my hand, is probably the closest I will come to a selfie on this blog. 🙂

Whether you’re having a Brilliant Peaceful Day, a Bloody Pants (in the adjectival sense of the word) Day, ‘just another’ BPD day, or none of the above, my warmest thoughts, best wishes, and e-hugs are with you xxx




quote from journal



13 thoughts on “Christmas present selfie

  1. This book looks incredible- I might have to buy one with some of my Christmas money! X


  2. Oh my goodness, that quote, my therapist paraphrased it to me several sessions ago in reference to the fact that while my medication has lifted my depression, it has also diminished my libido. The funny thing is that when he mentioned devils leaving me, i thought he was referring to my sex drive. “No, M, the angel is your passion, the devil is your depression,” he corrected. Merry Xmas, love!


    • Thank you! Merry Xmas to you too 🙂 Interestingly, I would have made exactly the same assumption you did, and have an ‘unwanted’ and ‘unchosen’ (as far as I am aware) tendency to associate sexual stuff of any kind somehow with impurity and imperfection. Did it feel like a surprise to have your libido referred to as a positive attribute? Thank you so much for reading and commenting! x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes! I was so sure I understood what he meant only to be surprised by his answer. I think I fear my sexuality because it has lead me down some less than proud moments.


      • Oh, SO ditto….many many less than proud moments. But if you have that fear, I am even more impressed and awed by the fact that you write about it! I find your writing really challenging (in a good way) for that reason – you write about things I’m still too fearful to write about. I ‘pride myself’ (in so far as I pride myself on anything, as that concept is normally anathema!) on being open and honest but I still have ‘dark corners’…..

        Liked by 1 person

  3. What a fantastic pressie! Totally agree with the opening statement …
    Just thought id share something taht helps ke with my dreams. Its an app called Simplemind+ Its a mind mapping app, and i use it to record my dreams as i can never remeber them in sequence and often one part will stick out more then snowball into something else like poetry or a short story. Id highly recommend it. Have a great 2015!
    Much love xxx


    • Please excuse the spelling!


    • Thank you so much for the tip! As soon as I’ve managed to install it on my phone (apparently ‘my device has run out of space’ – grr) I will give it a go! Do you use it as soon as you wake up e.g. in the middle of the night, and is that a vital part of remembering them? Happy New Year to you too and very best wishes for 2015!


      • I did but then found it hard to go back to sleep as my brain had woken up and was roaring away! Now I use it when I have a dream that’s worth remembering, often the one just before I get up in the morning. And because of how the mindmaps work I can keep coming back to it as and when things come back to me. You’ll find your own way of using it, just experiment and have fun!


      • Thank you, I will! I have the same problem – trying to record them during the night just wakes me up and then I can’t get back to sleep, and I get so little sleep I can’t afford to have that happen! I remember very few dreams even though I _know_ I have loads of interesting ones, so it’s very frustrating. Hopefully the app will make a difference, thanks again 🙂


  4. This is a brilliant journal. I love the title!!!!


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