Life in a Bind – BPD and me

My therapy journey, recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I write for , for Planet Mindful magazine, and for Muse Magazine Australia, under the name Clara Bridges. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by

Erotic transference


I first wrote about erotic transference – that is, feelings of romantic love or sexual fantasies a client has about their therapist – more than a year ago, on this blog. In my latest post for (counselling and psychotherapy directory and information resource), I have summarised some of the most common client responses associated with this transference that I have come across (and experienced myself), and a helpful way of understanding how the transference may come about, and why, and the ways in which it’s been useful in furthering my therapy:

I really hope that this article will contribute in some small way to encouraging more clients to mention their feelings to their therapists, rather than being weighed down by the confusion, shame and fear that often prevents them from talking about the subject. And I hope it might even encourage a few more blogging therapists to say a little more about it!



6 thoughts on “Erotic transference

  1. Thank you. I am so weighed down by shame especially because I’m a bisexual cisgender woman. My ex therapist who is cisgender heterosexual woman dismissed my bisexuality, attributing it all to erotic transference. YES I had strong erotic transference but I was bisexual LONG before I met her.

    My current therapist is her colleague and also a cisgender heterosexual woman and I’m afraid to bring up my erotic transference. Part of it both times is the fear that my therapists will be disgusted due to homophobia.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I like reading your blog. This is an issue that plagues me. Is it transference or infactuation for my attractive (to me) and lovely and helpful counsellor. I hope I work through this as I can’t bring myself to talk about it to him – he’s a social worker/counsellor, not a psychologist.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I like reading your blog. This particular issue still plagues me, I’m stuck between is it transference or infatuation for a very attractive (to me) and lovely counsellor. I hope I work this out as I can’t bring myself to talk to him about it – he’s a social worker/counsellor, not a psychologist.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awesome article! I’ve just published my own (less factual) blog about this today due to the conversation arising in my session last night – You summarise how I feel regarding the thought of confusing the parental and sexual thing at once. Thank you x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ps – you say “Sometimes it signaled frustration at not seeing my therapist during a break” – that just rang a huge bell for me… aghh. x

    Liked by 1 person

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