Life in a Bind – BPD and me

My therapy journey, recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I write for , for Planet Mindful magazine, and for Muse Magazine Australia, under the name Clara Bridges. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by

Mother’s Day runaway


Mother’s Day can be difficult, in so many different ways, but it still feels as though only some of those ways are publicly acknowledged, or socially acceptable. It hit me again this morning, when I was listening to the radio and the presenter played a song for those who find the day painful – it was a song about a son’s grief at the loss of his mother. There are no songs that I know of, about a child’s grief at the presence of a parent; or at not having a different one. There is nowhere to hide from Mother’s Day and nowhere to run to, for those who find it difficult because they have, to use Dr Terri Apter’s phrase, ‘difficult mothers’. If this is you, I hope my post for the therapy website is helpful, or at least is a reminder, during the many triggering moments that this day can bring, that there are many others who feel the same, even if we cannot voice it:

8 thoughts on “Mother’s Day runaway

  1. Brilliant article! It’s such a difficult time. I totally agree with you- there’s no space for those of us who live/d in an emotionally barren mothering wasteland today. I try and do the bare minimum of obligation stuff these days (ie seeing my mum only for an hour early in the day- still trying to be a good daughter 😞) then I try to do lovely things with my own kids for the rest of the day and realise that I am the mother now… to my children but also to myself. Ok I’m not quite there with nurturing and caring for my inner child but I know that I’m the only one who is going to provide me with what I need long term. Take care and it’s not often I say it, but roll on Monday! X

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Magnificent! One of your best. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Reblogged this on Dr. Gerald Stein and commented:
    Days of compulsory celebration can produce a paradoxical effect. Some people are encouraged, once again, to confront feelings of discomfort about parents who invalidated, neglected, or abused them. The demands for holiday observance now take over the job your family and relatives expected of you early on.

    The experience is rather like being caught in a vise: May 13, 2018 on one side, June 17, 2018 on the other, pushing together to squeeze the life out of you – you, who are in the middle.

    Of course, you might be the lucky soul who had good, or at least adequate parenting, from those whose love and care did the job imperfectly, (it is always imperfect), but did it on balance. Or, you might be a person who was abandoned, a step-parent who never receives full acknowledgment, or simply a child who lost a parent who did the job and had the beloved mom or dad snatched away by events or illness.

    How do you feel? Here is an answer from someone who has made her personal experience universal. She has done so with unsurpassed eloquence.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Sums up my feelings about today perfectly, thank you for showing me and others that we’re not alone

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I finally figured out how to “follow” you, Life in a Bind. Thank you for sharing this and I have read some of your posts lately, and I am so sorry for the pain that you deal with. It must take an incredible amount of strength to live through all that pain and then write about it. I can relate to much of what you write and feel. You have an amazing writing style, and you’re way more coherent and organized than I am! Your post here has helped me realize that I’m not alone, and that there are others who share in similar pain. I wish you safe thoughts and warm wishes.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Pingback: Mother’s Day Runaway (re-blog) | Therapy Diaries

  7. Absolutely loved this article. I’ve read it about ten times over the last few days and I’ve sent it to my T because it explains things so clearly!! I think we need some sort of “runaway” club we can all go to on mother’s day where it isn’t about honouring, loving or respectiing abusive mothers. I hate mother’s day with a vengence! x

    Liked by 1 person

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