Life in a Bind – BPD and me

My therapy journey, recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I write for welldoing.org , for Planet Mindful magazine, and for Muse Magazine Australia, under the name Clara Bridges. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by goodtherapy.org.


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Christmas wishes

This is an incredibly challenging time of year for so many – with or without mental health difficulties. I don’t want the words ‘Merry Christmas’ to sound hollow or to cause pain; but at the same time I want to wish you as much inner peace, contentment, and moments of hope and joy, as you are able to find tomorrow, on 25 December 2015.

I listened to a Christmas Carol service on the radio this afternoon and it ended with a blessing and a prayer that we may be filled with ‘peace and goodwill’. Not for the first time recently, I thought about how our ability to give to others – to love, to forgive, to be generous and kind – is much greater when we have a measure of inner peace and strength and feel ourselves in receipt of those same things, that gives us an anchor and a base from which to pour ourselves out without feeling as though we might run dry and cease to exist. Ultimately, we will find this within ourselves, even if we spend a lifetime trying. If, for now, someone else is showing you the way, I hope their steadfast belief in you, whether they are with you right now or not, will help you to get through this holiday period with as much peace, goodwill to others, and also crucially to yourself, as circumstances will allow.

To end on a mundane note – and with an apology. I am conscious that I have a long backlog of blog comments to reply to, as well as a number of lovely and personal emails sent through my ‘Contact me’ page. I can only sincerely apologise and say what is true – though not an excuse – that I had a very bad two weeks at the end of November with depression and difficult times in therapy, and this combined with a very stressful period at work. I kept posting – but the cracks were showing in a variety of ways. I intend to reply to everyone by the end of the first week in January, and am grateful for your patience and continued support – and comments!

With love and best wishes for tomorrow!

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Christmas present selfie

One of my Christmas presents – I am hoping that keeping it by my bed will magically help me to remember more of my dreams! And that it will inspire me to write mediocre poetry.Β Each double page contains a quote, and the one below struck a particular chord. It reminds me of the reason behind some of my fears of ‘recovery’.

It occurs to me that my finger and thumb holding the journal, and the shadow of my hand, is probably the closest I will come to a selfie on this blog. πŸ™‚

Whether you’re having a Brilliant Peaceful Day, a Bloody Pants (in the adjectival sense of the word) Day, ‘just another’ BPD day, or none of the above, my warmest thoughts, best wishes, and e-hugs are with you xxx

 

journal

 

quote from journal