Life in a Bind – BPD and me

Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and my therapy journey. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by goodtherapy.org. I write for welldoing.org and for Muse Magazine Australia, under the name Clara Bridges.


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Marnie Uncovered

On Friday I heard Zara Larsson’s ‘Uncover’ sung by a boy soprano. Somehow, I’d never heard the song before, and the combination of the music and the amazing tone of his voice, left me with tears streaming down my face. Once I ‘get into’ a song, I tend to listen to it on repeat, and so I have been playing it almost constantly on Youtube since then.

As I was listening to it today, with the words of yesterday’s post on the book ‘When Marnie was there’, still very much in my mind, I found myself thinking of this as Anna and Marnie’s song, at least in the beginning phases of their friendship, before they started, together, to change. They were each other’s secret, and in the safety of their friendship, they started to uncover their real selves and reveal things that neither of them had spoken about before.

Anna moved nearer and the girl said, still in a half-whisper. ‘You remember I said last night that you were my secret?’ Anna nodded ‘I knew just what you meant. You’re mine.’

‘There are all sorts of things I want to know about you……. – and yet, in a way, I don’t want to know them all – …….No, that’s wrong! I do want to know. But I want to find them out slowly, by myself, as we go along….’

‘I’ve been so lonely’, said Anna, surprised to hear herself saying it- it was so rare for her to confide in anyone.

Here, when the tide was out, they spent hours altering the course of steams, and making tiny villages out of mud and sand.

Running back across the fields with Marnie, she felt as light as air.

I like this version of the video because, unlike later versions, Zara Larsson looks like the teenage girl that she is, a young girl with long blonde hair, only a few years older than Marnie would have been in the story. The song lyrics follow below…..

Nobody sees, Nobody knows
We are a secret, can’t be exposed
That’s how it is, That’s how it goes
Far from the others
Close to each other

In the daylight, in the daylight
When the sun is shining
On a late night, on a late night
When the moon is blinding
In plain sight, plain sight
Like stars in hiding
You and I burn on, on

Put 2 and 2gether – 4ever
We’ll never change
2 and 2gether
We’ll never change

Nobody sees, Nobody knows
We are a secret, can’t be exposed
That’s how it is, That’s how it goes
Far from the others
Close to each other
That’s when we uncover, cover, cover [x2]

My asylum, My asylum
Is in your arms
When the world gives heavy burdens
I can bare a thousand tons
On your shoulder, on your shoulder
I can reach an endless sky
Feels like paradise

Put 2 and 2gether – 4ever
We’ll never change
2 and 2gether
We’ll never change

Nobody sees, Nobody knows
We are a secret, can’t be exposed
That’s how it is, That’s how it goes
Far from the others
Close to each other
That’s when we uncover, cover, cover [x2]

We could build a universe right here
All the world could disappear
Wouldn’t notice, wouldn’t care

We could build a universe right here
The world could disappear
Yeah I just need you near

Nobody sees, Nobody knows
We are a secret, can’t be exposed
That’s how it is, That’s how it goes
Far from the others
Close to each other
That’s when we uncover, cover, cover [x2]
That’s when we uncover

 

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