Life in a Bind – BPD and me

Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and my therapy journey. Listed in Top Ten Resources for BPD in 2016 by goodtherapy.org. I write for welldoing.org under the name Clara Bridges.

How Would a Friendship with Your Therapist Work?

3 Comments

Another very interesting post by Dr Stein, using a ‘thought-experiment’ to elicit the difficulties inherent in the notion of friendship between therapist and client. This follows on from both Dr Stein’s original post on the reasons behind clients’ ‘exclusion’ from their therapists’ lives, and from my own post on how that feels, from the patient’s perspective.

As with Dr Stein’s other posts, I believe his points are very well-made and hard to argue with, and are put forward both carefully and compassionately. In common with many, I think, the challenge for me is to somehow turn this intellectual knowledge and acceptance of ‘how things must be’ into an emotional understanding and acceptance. It will come, with much work and with digging deep; but in the meantime, every time, as clients, we come face to face with feeling excluded and ‘bump up’ against the boundaries of therapy, we have an opportunity to talk about how it feels, to discover the origin of those feelings, and to start to heal from them. It’s all ‘grist for the therapy mill’, as a friend of mine would say….!

Dr. Gerald Stein - Blogging About Psychotherapy from Chicago

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The fantasy of having a closer relationship with one’s therapist occupies the mental space devoted to imaginary things. It must, because few counselors permit such a connection. Professional ethics generally prohibit the dual role of therapist/friend and therapist/lover. Yet, there is value in fleshing-out what this double-bond would look like in practice.

Responses to my recent post, Being Excluded From Your Therapist’s Life, suggest the fantasy dies hard. What follows is an effort to describe how the relationship would function if brought to life — the day-to-day lives of a shrink and his patient. I invite you, dear reader, to think along with me. Let me know if my concerns are off-base. Even more, once you finish reviewing my ideas, I’d love to read your own notion of how to create the connection some of you want with your therapist: an outline better than the current prohibitive model you…

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3 thoughts on “How Would a Friendship with Your Therapist Work?

  1. Thank you for reblogging this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • My pleasure – I promise not to reblog everything you write about, even if you have a habit of making it all very interesting 😉 but these posts seemed to form a great series and to be connected one to the other…..

      Like

    • Ps thank you for thanking me on the other post too – if you don’t see your comment approved, it is only because I have been technologically incompetent and have somehow managed to accidentally ‘trash’ the comment and can’t see how to retrieve it! I am currently operating from my phone, where it’s easier to touch a key accidentally, and the whole page looks different so it’s harder to find things. ..!

      Liked by 1 person

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